Nothing.

I don't write this because I want accolades or for anyone to think I am anything other than what I am. If it can be shared and help someone else feel that they are not alone in this hell, than great.  I think the only reason I decided to go public with this is because I still don't want to talk about it, or more or less be asked about it.  If I want to talk about it, I will. One can only take so much negativity.  To me, repeating this crap is very draining on my spirit and my ability to be and stay positive.  I know my son will get through this...I will get through this. THIS is in God's hands.

A really amazing friend sent this to me the other day:  "Sometimes people with the worst pasts end up creating the best futures."  She was an absolutely shining star on a very dark day.

It has now been exactly one week since my son's birthday and I have not heard one word from him; no "Mom, can you please get me some cigarettes?" no "Mom, can you please bring me a pair of shorts?" Nothing.  Nothing worries me.  Nothing usually means departure from the rehab facility and back to the streets. This feels like one of the longest weeks of my life because of nothing.

As my son is an adult, and even though I pay for his health insurance, I am not able to be given any information by the facility, they can't even tell me whether or not he is there due to privacy laws. Nothing.

Nothing sucks.