So Wrong!

My faith should have been stronger than my fear. I know this. I faltered. My son called me late yesterday and is FINE!! I wanted to jump thru the ceiling with joy!  All that worry for nothing. And huge collective release of tension that was building up in the form of panic. I know this is not in my hands. I know I am not in control of this. But yet I still was on the verge of (ok maybe a little past the verge) of panic. I did not tell my son that I was doubting him, because in truth that is what it was. Me doubting him. I will get to see him for lunch again tomorrow and will tell him then. Tell him how absolutely PROUD I am for proving me wrong! Best wrong I have ever been. I have never been SO happy to be so wrong in my whole life.

I will be calling the sober living house today to coordinate his transition next week (yes, he got a week extension in rehab).  He told me is excited, nervous and scared all at the same time. It has been over 4 years since he has been clean and sober.  Today is his 61st day!!  I know there will be tough times ahead and he will have to be strong.

Faith. We all need to have faith.