Holding my Breath

Oh wow. I have waited a very long time to come back here.  I have been holding my breath in a way. Holding it before letting it go to write. I am writing this today, my son's 92nd day of sobriety. He didn't want to make a big deal of his 90 day mark. Didn't want to brag on it. Just wanted it to be another day. Another day like any other day that he gets thru. One day at a time. He does have an app on his phone that lets him know exactly where he is in his journey.

I am beyond proud of him. The little things that were common place before his addiction took hold...bringing in the trash without being asked (more than once), helping around the house (begrudgingly), picking up dog poop (he knows how much I hate doing that) and making his bed (ok he never did that before) are back. I have missed my son so much. No, he doesn't live with us, he is living in a sober living house with about a dozen or so other housemates, but he has been up for the weekend and once or twice during the week. He also is working. These are HUGE steps in the right direction. HUGE!

This is still very much a learning experience for me - to try and not 'mother' him. To treat him like the adult he is, not the little boy he was.  I think this is hard for any mom.   I know...my mom treated me like I was 12 my whole life.

I love my son beyond words; I hate what heroin robbed from us.

I still pray everyday asking God to give my son strength. Pray for those still on the streets. Pray for the families of addicts. Pray. I also thank God for his love....he never gives us more than we can handle.