Court

I am exhausted beyond words today.  Today was court. I have been up and going since 4am.  As today is Thursday (SoCal traffic is the worst on Thursday), I had to be on the road before the sun came up to beat traffic to make the trek in an hour down to pick up my son and bring him back up to appear in court. And then back down again after and be on the road again in order to beat the traffic back home.

Unfortunately there is no such thing as quick when it comes to dealing with our legal system.  Stand up, sit down, recess, come back in, sit down, stand up, recess.  Fortunately, the person who was the public defender's liaison explained exactly what would and how it would happen.  And after about two hours we were allowed to leave (via OR) with a promise to return next month.

Even though I knew the threat of traffic home was looming, I didn't care.... I got to spend time and have lunch with my son....just like before. Before all of this crap (seriously...shit) started. He was his old self again...respectful and polite.  Holding doors and thank yous. I SO miss those days.  I want them to continue.

Heroin combined with meth makes a person mean, disrespectful and awful to be around.  Out the window goes any inkling of respect and politeness.  I thought the years between 14-18 were bad...drugs multiply that times 100.  It brings an unfortunate understanding of how and why people can totally abandon loved ones who are using.  I know.  I have been told to just walk away and let him go.  That is not me. I grew up with 'can't can't do anything'.  Don't get me wrong, I have thought about it; thought about how I could live with myself if I did that.  I am not a can't person.  I would not be able to live with myself if I chose the easy way out.  If there is a way, I will find it, I will do it.

Three boys relapsed this past week....my son was NOT one of them.  Back when he playing football 'flat-backing' the QB was my proud mom moment....now this is so much more important and meaningful.

This is heroin. There is hope.